me - the real me - my life

22nd dec. orientation

2006-12-22T18:19:00.000+08:00

snrs came today.
i was very happy honestly.
first tik i did was hug them..
hai.
but happy time were short... so short.
they left in jus 15mins.
how i wish...
time can turn back
to the days when we see each other everyday..
now, we cant see each other so often.
nxt yr they wun b in sch le...
hai.
dun bear to cry.
dun bear to sad.
to prevent heartache.

nxt wed is the thanksgiving.
will hav to say sme thankies wrds.
i duno will i say to them...
but, i will not forget them de.
forever.

if i knew it

2006-12-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

it doesnt seems long
since the day u left

u left me with a broken heart
it was piercing my heart

it doesnt matter anymre
since my heart been cold long ago...

nv wld imagine..
losin u wld cause me so much misery

if only u....
wld stay by my side
i wld do anytik for u.

2006-12-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

from the day u step into my heart
from the day u held my hand
from the day we hugged
i knew u r the one

when u step out from my heart
my heart turned cold
no tears but ice.

when u let go my hand
my heart shattered
the pain is piercing lik trillions of arrows.

when u say gdbye
i fell on my knees
how can u be so plain

from the day i saw u
i fell so deeply in love with u.

how can u bear
how can u bear?
how?

dun u feel pain?
dun u feel sad?

why..
why..
why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nco camp!! 32nd band major.

2006-11-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

PRAISE THE LORD.!!
the 5day camp really trained me up man..
WOW. it was so tiring..
but after tonight..!!
i realise.. everitik and ALL the things ARE WORTH IT.. =)

thanks for good weather!!
it rained twice but thank God it din rain third time.
i thank for all my cg mem who came..
thanks for the support.
i very happy to see ur.. jiahui kh mund val. THANKS.
N MOSTLY MY SNRS..!!
ARHH.. my dear alicia n cherie..!!
LOVE YOUR SO MUCH
though ur are tired ur still cme..
when i kno u cming..
i cried man..
ur mayb wont kno how much i feel when ur came..
then i realise.. ur mean so much to me..!! =)
THANKS XUAN TOO. ^^
THANKS SARAH TJ BX ZW LIOT WILLIE RUTHHH!!
THANKS ALL TO THOSE WHO DIN CME TOO FOR WISHING ME ALL THE BEST.!!

it WAS A MEMORABLE NIGHT..!!
FRENCH HORN ROCK ON
BRD BAND.. LETS CHIONGH!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

2006-11-05T09:09:00.000+08:00

HALLELUJAH!!
thank GOD for anoiting me with the call of ARISE N BUILD.!!
wow.. its been really a great deal for me.
but i kno nothing is iompossible with U
WITH this amt..
i believe it is a STEP OF FAITH!!
it TOUCHES MY HEART
thus, IT WILL TOUCH URS TOO LORD.
its the first time
BUT I KNO IT WUN BE THE LAST! =)
GOD U R SO GREAT
THIS MORNING AS I PRAISE N WORSHIP
LET THE ANOITING OF HOLY SPIRITS ON ME ABBA.
with all my heart n soul,
i pray.
amen.

went swimming n steph hse

2006-10-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

today morning wake up..
went online the first thing..
then went to brush teeth..
then eat cereal for breakfast..
met steph up for swimming

we swam till 1.30pm.
then i went up to her hse n hav lunch
steph cooked maggi mee for me..
hahaha.. its so farnii..
well i shalnt say much.. hee.

after that.. we watched vcds..
till 5plus.
then we watch tv shows till dinner time.
i ate dinner at her hse too!!
thanks man!!

after dinner,
we went to look for jobs.
found a few jobs..
tmr will b goin for interview.
pray that everitik will be good.!!

arnd 9pm went hme..
wow.. its been a tiring day..
but its fun.!!

ytd dyed hair..
but the colour not obvious..
decided to dye again..
before my camp i will go dye my hair!! heeeha.. =)

life's short, do what u want.

2006-10-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

ren shen duan duan ji shi nian..
wei she me pian pian dang wo men shi qu shi..
chai zhi dao zhen gui?
chai hui dong de zhen xi?

in my life,
i missed cherishing ppl.
so many impt ppl passed by me..
sme memory still remained as a scar in my heart
whenever i think bout it,
my heart will be so pain.

how i wish,
they wld appear now instead of then.
if now, i will go n cherish them,
understand them,
be true to them.

my greatest lost is my aunt.
my aunt.. was so young when she died.
she was the one..
who always bear the canning for me from my mum..who always buy me things..
who always brings me out..
who always make me look forward to..
WHO ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY.
yet....
heaven played a big joke on me when i was 8.
they took her away from me..

WHY??
do u kno how it felts when u r crying n no sound came out..
the pain in your heart..
tearing ur heart apart..
suffocating urself..
to bear the pain..
ur blood stop..
just to stop the pain in ur heart.
the truth is always so heart paining.

can we turn back the time?
i love you.

GRADUATION sOng FOR 2ec TRUELY...

2006-10-27T11:50:00.000+08:00

to 2EC FOREVER FRIENDS.
KEEP SMILING COX EVERYONE IS FALLING FOR US!!! =)

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels[1] -
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still beFriends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels[Repeat 1]
La, la, la, la:Yeah, yeah, yeahLa, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this townI keep,
I keep thinking that
it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
[Repeat 1 (3x)]

OUR UNITY WILL NOT FALL
AS LONG AS WE HAVE FAITH
2EC WILL BE A HISTORY. !!

TRAIN

2006-10-24T23:55:00.000+08:00

have u ever been on a train?
when u r on a train..
do u realise things in ur mind just suddenly come flowing back?
its when the time pass very fast

i took a train from clementi to paya lebar
its arnd 30 mins plus

when i reached dover station
another train on the opp side had reached earlier
n when my train is stopping
the other train left the station

at that time i suddely think..
why must we pass each other lik the train did?
why cant time just stop for a sec?
why r we always late by a step when its impt?
so many WHYS.
but WHO can answer me?

2yrs of sec life just pass like a wind..
nxt year i m sec 3 le..
a new class, a new teacher

decided not to b too emotional anymre
i just wana be a person who brings laughter to ppl arnd me
dont wan let other ppl see my darkness part
dont wana hurt ppl becox i kno how it feels to be hurt

i looking forward to a beta brighter life of mine.

aCTualLy letting Go tO fufIL otheR's wishEs.. is truely letting go.

2006-10-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

i watched a show.
its about a ghost and a mortal man.
din expect actually ghost n man can be together.
once said, ghost n man can hav a blissful match.
and inside the story,
the other female ghost is so worthless
she was burnt under the sun
n her body diminised.
to sacrifice for her beloved sister,
she is willing to let go her hatred last life.
AND she said '' to let go n fufil other's wish, is truely letting go ''
AND how much i realise, actually all these yrs i have just been thinking for myself
becox i cant learn to let go.
AFTER wat happened 3mths ago..
i woke up, n i know its time to change
hopefully, i will learn to control my emotions
n best of all, learn to let go.
i will take it as a challenge.
nothing is impossible.

din know. putting u down is so hard.

2006-10-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

[ goto pretend everitik's is alrite when its not ]

how times flies..
one min by one min..
one day by one day..
one mth by one mth..
one yr by one yr.

wonder when time gona stop?

life is a mystery..
always keeping us in suspense.

wondering what to do nxt in our life.
so many ppl pass by our life each day..
strange faces, familiar faces.

but what did we do 24hours a day?
i was wondering.. did i leave my life to the fullest this 14yrs.?
guess no one really did.

i walk down the streets..
ur shadow cover my darkness
n uncover my light
wondering when will we
ever go back to once we are?

wanting to be strong.
accept that parting is a part n parcel of life now.
got to be strong, wont be the once me again.

GOD has been great to me.
changing me to a brand new person.
IN YOU I TRUST, AMEN.

lets be successful

2006-10-13T14:54:00.000+08:00

been reading a book by john c maxwell [ dare to dream ]... then do it.
i will share a chapter with yew

chapter 1
[ commit urself to ur true dreams ]
- a dream is an ideal involving a sense of possibilities not probabilities, of potential rather than limits!!
- a dream is WELSPRING of PASSION.
- it is an expression of optimism, hope n values
- DREAMS GRAB N MOVE US

[ keep ur eyes on the star BUT ur feet on the ground ]
[ NV measure the top of mountain until u reached the top, then u realise how low the mountain is!! ]

2006-10-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

[7oct]

preparing myself for a miracle!!

4impt things to receiving GOD'S miracle in our life
- admit that we have a need [ dont pretend dont have problems ]
- assess what i already have [ nothing is impossible with HIM ] [ TRUST HIM by planting the seed and HE WILL MEET UR NEED ]
- give GOD what u already have [ GOD WORK IN PATTER ] [ GOD WORK IN PRINCIPLE ]
- expect GOD TO MULTIPLY [ IF U CAN SEE IT, YOU CAN GET IT!! AMEN ]

DONT ALLOW OURSELF TO DEFEAT ATTITUDE TOWARDS MIRACLE
- dont procrascinate [ dont deal things at last minute ]
- dont take ownership [ be responsible ]
- must have faith, nothing is impossible [ BELIEVE IN JESUS BE POSITIVE ]

GOD WILL GIVE US MORE THAN ENOUGH
GOD WILL WORK THORUGH US, NOT FOR US!! AMEN.

2006-10-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

[ extra mile ]

my chi n english paper had finished!!
i m so glad.
thank you GOD
for being there with me. =)

give an extra mile
if the person wana u run 1km
give him 2km
if he ask u to spare him a token
give him double the token
if he asks u for a bread
give me a loaf
dont ask why
do ur limit n be glad.

FOR GOD IS SELFLESS
HE SACRIFICES N DOES NOT WANT ANITIK IN RETURN
DO THE SAME..
BE SELFLESS. =)

2006-10-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

[ bread ]

LORD u gave me hope
u gave me light
when i m down

U gave me promise
U gave me faith
U gave me confidence

in U i found the RICHEST WORDS.
walk with me through my life journey
dont leave me ever again
KEEP MY FAITH THIS TIME.
amen.

2006-09-30T18:07:00.000+08:00

[ exams ]

cool yea?
exams le..
so fast hor.

stress is the wrd.
but i wana cope this wrd well.

not goin to stress myself anymore.
i wana remain happy n also do well for exams at the same time man!!..

nothing goin to change my mind this time again.

its you.
n for you only.

gona change.
JESUS I PRAISE U.
LORD I WORSHIP.
I TRUST N I GIVE.
ABBA, WALK WITH ME.

2006-09-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

[ motivation running low ]

haiz..
no energy
no mood
no confidence
no motivation

so scared
so afraid
so down
so sad

but i keep quiet
hoping smeone will realise it even i dun say.

exams r stressful.
2wks..
wonder if i can hang on..

though i promised u.
but ...
honestly,
i dont feel motivated anymore for u.

and i m so... haiz~

2006-09-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

[ chilling ]

went to east coast alone today.
to breathe fesh air.

nature is good.
it really freshen my mind n heart.

though i cried at the beach
but i felt so much better.

wanted to scream
but paiseh haha.

exams coming le.
wat can i expect.
do wat i shld.

keep striving
keep wrking
keep succeeding.
nothing is impossible.

looking towards to greater mission in life!!

2006-09-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

[ life is not my cup of tea ]

do u realise
life is just like a marathon
but i can say,
at least this marathon
can let us taste the
sweet sour bitter spicy in life

i hate to run a marathon
it seems to be everlasting
n it need alot of determination

mayb u will fall halfway through
or u may finish the race with glory

theres a sentence,
when u fall,
dun be afraid to continue
u wont know what to expect next

life is unpredictable,
but still smetimes i cant help wondering..
whether m i fortunate to be who i m now?

life i tough
truth is pain
but i m tougher
i m cold n heartless.

-chilling-

2006-09-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

[ for yoou my dear friends ]

For your smile,
I'd walk for miles.
You treat me so right.
I'm so glad we don't fight.
I can count on youto always be true.
You make me feel good as only you could.
Thanks for being the right one for me
and encouraging me to be all I can be.

For your touch,I'd give you so much.
For your kiss,I'd give you sheer bliss.
For your hand,I will always understand.
For your love,I'd give all you can conceive of.

its GOD gift to me for knowing u
nv knew it wld be so great n fufilling knowing ur.
i know we may hv dispute
but in the end we give a bear hug n say thank you
everyone is precious to me

but if its time to let ur go
i shld put u down
thanks for the memories once
i nv regretted knowing u.

these 3wrd i love you
really really comes from my heart
to all my frends out there!!..
u know who r u..
all the best. =)

2006-09-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

[ if tomorrow nv cmes ]

tomorrow is not a promise to anyone
dont take every sec in ur life granted
because life is not granted.

life is a chance n a choice.
u choose the way u want to live.

never know ur silence can make me fear.
never know ur coldness can make me shiver.
why i have this feeling towards u?

ur wrds make me pounder
ur sentence make me wonder
whether i had done wrong

ur coldness n silence left me lone.

2006-09-22T20:16:00.000+08:00

[IF I KNEW]

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop
and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love ! you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile,
a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

2006-09-21T17:41:00.000+08:00

[ poem ]

leaves fall as u left
rain fall as u walk away
my tear roll down as u say gdbye

10.30 flight
u took off
left me with a note
w/o a sound

time flies
1yr .. 2yr .. 3yrs
u slowly fade away from my heart

its hard to let go
but time will let u go.

2006-09-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

[ haiku ]

this is a poem i wrote

time pass as the clock ticks,
u pass me like a wind,
and i just walk pass u like a leave.

2006-09-16T16:18:00.000+08:00

[ regret doesnt cure ]
i saw one of my fren msn nick n realise what he said was right.
regret doesnt cure.
my exams are coming.
but i m not studyin..
i dont know why
i just dont have the motivation at all.
but i also very scared if i fail my exams.
i dont know why..
the person who, always been there for me
now have become so cold to me
can u let me know why..
i.. simply cant understand.

2006-09-14T22:05:00.000+08:00

[ dream ]
is this word an illusion
or is this wrd reality
no one knows.
to sme ppl it may means the reality
to sme its just an illusion..
or isit GOD let us forsee the future?

i had a dream
which i dont think i wish to have
i dreamt of it
waking up crying so heavily
the day was dull
n the sky was dark
th scene kept floating in my mind
those wrds that u said passing my mind
wondering .. isit real?
everitik seems like ytd

mayb its a warning for me
not to go any deeper into you
mayb its time to say gdbye
n this time its for real

my heart is frozen
my mind is cold
my feelings are lost
no wrds can express it.

2006-09-14T19:09:00.000+08:00

[ will there be such a day ]
the leaves fall
the water rises
the island has been drowned
ppl cannot live on.

the temo rises quickly
animals can no longer take it
the sky has a big hole
and even the aliens cant fix it.

sunlight shoots down to the earth like arrows
passing through the blue sky
penetrating through the white clods
no more trees to provide us with shade
how can we feel the coolness?

the human;s bright brain
created many things
those added chemicals are harmful to our body
no wonder the earth;s crying

the earth gona be destroyed
i dont know how we are going to prevent it
if we are still alive till today
i m not sure if tomorrow is the last day on earth.

2006-09-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

[ sorry ]
i m sorry for me bugging u
sorry for being such a fool
i m sorry for me needing u
sry girl if u dun feel it too
forgive me
for being me
i tried to let go..
but u duno how much i wish to ..
i m sry for me wanting u
sry for not playing by the rule
but wat wld u do is u were in my shoes..
feeling lost n blue
i m crazy bout u know who
forgive me for being me
i hv tried to let go.
i wish i m only the only one
but u cant blame me for trying
what else can i do..
how i wish all my tots n dreams will becme reality.
u dont know how i wish u wld know how much u meant to me..
o.. so sad.
i know u mayb forget me
i hope u will not forget the memories.

2006-09-13T21:40:00.000+08:00

[21st oct]
21st oct.
3rd week of oct
1wk n 1day after my end of year exam
that day is wang li hong concert.
when i saw this comercial
i thought of u.
u like david tao n wang li hong once.
i m thinking.. is this the time to ask u?
wanted to watch this concert with u..
its has been a long time..
really missing u. =p

2006-09-12T18:05:00.000+08:00

[ ai chuo ]
yuan lai fang qi yi ge ren na me tong ku
cong lai mei xiang dao wo hui bian zhe yang
exams coming but i dont seem to have mood to study
this year, so many things happened. can i pretend everitik's alright?
dont know why, i tend to be so alone when i m at hme.
while in front of my friends, i can be so jovial
u think i m not afraid of exams?
i m so damm scared. but wats the use of just sitting here ans just say i scared this n scared that when u din even try to attempt it.
and its me, why did i becme like that now.. i really really wana study n score well!!!
but my heart is not there. =(
should i give up. or shall i hang on?

2006-09-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

[ happi bdae wilson ]
happy bdae to u
happy bdae to u
happy bdae to wilson!!
u r 14 yrs old le.
waha. know u 2yrs and u r still de same.
u r a nice guy.. always lend a listening ear de.
although we sort of cold war to each other once.. hehe.
but i guess its over le.
though we r not so close anymore.
but u r still my frend.
i still rmb u n junan make me cry during my bdae .. =p
hao la.. cya in sch tmr!!

2006-09-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

[emotion,cold just the opp]
the old me tends to be emotional.
the now me is a little cold.
but i duno what future brings though.
i may continue to be emotional or i will be colder.
i duno what brings tmr but i will not sit here n wait.
i will go find out myself n live the way i want because i dun wan to dissapoint myself.
i have nothing.
i have a family on the outside but not inside ( get what i mean? )
i have sufficient money for me to waste.
i have so-so results for me to get away from home n stay out late.
but i dun have smething...
when i m down
when i m sad
when i m so lost
i cant find myself.
is this my life?

2006-09-10T17:22:00.000+08:00

[10th sept]
so fast tmr sch reopen le.
this week. what have i done?
fri slacked at hme [ 1 sep]
sat slacked at hme [ 2sep ]
sun went ster hse n pool [ 3 sep ]
mon went pool [ 4 sep]
tues went pool [ 5 sep]
wed went nco [6 sep]
thursday went nco n pool [7 sep]
fri went band [ 8 sep]
sat went shopping n pool [ 9 sep]
sun slp day [ 10 sep ]

[ 9 sep]
i woke up 12.30pm crying in tears
i dreamt of u.
and i dreamt of smething that hurt me so much.
why must i have this dream?
isit to tell me that u no longer have me in ur heart.
or i m just being one sided?
i duno.. so sad.

[ 6 sep ]
went to the beach for shana bdae
when i at beach, realise that my life has been so cruel to me.
heaven. why must u do this to me.
why must u let me go through one n another pain?
when can u change me into a cold person?
i cant take it anymore.

[7sep ]
nco roxks man.
our instructor cecelia is cool!! hee.
frenchhornist all rocks man. =)
the 3days together from strangers to frends!!
hee. still rmb the jokes man.
must wait 2mths then can see ur.
take care yea.. cya!!.

tmr sch reopen. haix. term 4. end of year.
what can i do. i wish to say gdbye.

2006-09-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

[ i m sam ]

i watched this show from channel 5.
its bout a girl who had benn abadoned by her parents
n she went through alot before she met a guy call sam who adopted her.
sam is at a age of 30 plus but he has only a 7yrs old brain
his handicapped in this area almost cause him to lose the girl.
sam showed great love and his is so kind
he has a kind heart as a 7yrs old child
he is so innocent though old.
he gave the girl what other adopted parents cant.
and thats LOVE.
u may wonder, how great this 4 letter wrds mean
and i can tell u, to a very simple child
it means mre than the whole wrld
and this is what i earned for..
LOVE.. doesnt exist in my parents
but luckily i met alot of other ppl who showed me how to love, how to care for others
after watching this show, i hope parents will show their concern n love to their child,
dont wait till ur child dont even love u then u start to concern.
its too late... n i can tell u, nv wld my parents say they love me.
but i still love them because of wat they had done for me. n for who they are. =)

2006-09-10T01:02:00.000+08:00

[ my oath ]
when u r sad, i will dry ur tears
when u r scared, i will comfort ur fears
when u r worried, i will give u hope
when u r confused, i will help u cope
and when u r lost, and cant see the light
i shall be ur beacon, shining so bright
this is my oath to u n i pledge till the end.
u may ask me why,
my ans its becox,
u mean smetik to me.